Sunday, February 10, 2013

Maker's Mark - "It isn't what is was..."

By Keith Adams

If you haven't heard already, Maker's Mark sent out a note to their ambassadors to talk about some exciting news at the company. Let me sum it up for you... We're going to start watering down our shit and we will probably charge the same damn price!

Am I pissed? You bet your candy ass I'm pissed. I haven't been this pissed off at a beverage company since Coke introduced New Coke.  This is definitely one of those WTF moments in the company history. I can only assume Rob Samuels took responsibility as COO and said to himself,"How can I fuck with our family's heritage and make a bunch of money at the same time?" <sarcasm> It took him a couple years to come up with this lame ass plan but thank god he figured it out. </sarcasm>

Why are they watering down their whisky? Well according to the concerned parties at Maker's Mark, there is a shortage of the stuff on store shelves. Dropping it to 84 proof, they can get more bottles out of a barrel and cover for their piss poor planning on this supply issue.  I don't know about you, but every time I walk into my local liquor store there is always a bottle of Maker's on the shelf.  Furthermore, there is always a bottle left for the next guy too.  Apparently there has been some huge fucking run on the shit and getting an extra few bottles out of a barrel is going to solve their supply issues. They go on to say that after looking at all possible solutions, this is the best course of action.  Really? Watering down the family recipe is the best idea the company leadership can come up with? Did they legalize marijuana in Kentucky, because I think Rob Samuels is high!

When Rob stepped up to the plate, the company stated, "Rob's number one responsibility going forward will be to ensure that we don’t screw up the whisky, as well as that we continue to hand-make our bourbon exactly the same way my grandparents did.” -  Mission Fucking Failed!

Maybe it's time for a recant on this ad.

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